Over the past few months, a phrase has appeared again and again in my coaching sessions with senior professionals.
“I know I should post on LinkedIn, but that feels cringe.”
“I know I should reach out to that person at my dream company, but that feels cringe.”
“I know I should negotiate, but I do not want to be that person.”
At first glance, these might sound like small worries. In reality, they tell us a great deal about how mid-career professionals are relating to their work in 2025. Cringe has become a powerful, if unspoken, organising force in many corporate careers. Not the justified embarrassment that comes from genuinely unprofessional behaviour, but the anticipatory discomfort we feel when we imagine colleagues rolling their eyes at our ambition.
In an age where every post can be screen-shotted and every misstep can live online indefinitely, many experienced professionals are choosing self-protection over visibility. They stay quiet in meetings, avoid sharing their wins, and hesitate to ask for introductions or referrals. The irony is that the current job market heavily rewards the opposite.
Senior and mid-level roles are increasingly filled through networks, informal recommendations, and visible expertise. Recruiters search LinkedIn to find candidates who look like they are already operating at the next level. Boards and executives look for leaders who can represent the organisation externally as well as deliver internally. When mid-career professionals allow the fear of cringe to dictate their behaviour, they remove themselves from contention. The work remains strong. The evidence of that work disappears from view.
This plays out in predictable ways. A director level candidate declines to post about a major transformation project because “the team did the work, not me,” even though a well written post would give credit to the team, clarify the outcomes, and demonstrate the candidate’s leadership.
An experienced executive refuses to ask a former colleague for a referral into a company they admire, because “they will think I am desperate,” while that same colleague would likely have been happy to help, or at least provide context.
A candidate emerging from redundancy feels grateful for any offer and avoids salary conversations entirely, even when the initial package is significantly below market and out of line with the value they can clearly create.
In each case, the professional tells themselves they are being modest, reasonable, or pragmatic. Underneath, the fear of cringe is running the show. I see this as more than a confidence issue. It is a strategic risk.
Productive Cringe
Over the next decade, professionals in their 40s, 50s, and 60s will need to navigate more restructures, more hybrid work, and more non-linear career paths. Staying relevant will depend on being able to articulate your value, build relationships across organisations, and reposition yourself when necessary. Those are inherently visible activities. They involve speaking up in senior meetings, sharing your thinking publicly, and explaining your career decisions in a clear narrative rather than silently hoping others will understand.
I describe the discomfort that comes with these actions as “productive cringe”. Productive cringe is the hot flush you feel when you:
- Post a thoughtful summary of a project on LinkedIn.
- Send a short, direct message to someone at a company you admire.
- Say, “Based on my research and the scope of this role, I had a range of X to Y in mind. How much flexibility is there?”
- Tell a trusted peer, “Over the next 12 to 18 months, I am positioning myself for Director level roles in X.”
None of these actions are reckless. They are not designed to shock or perform. They are simply visible.
At the same time, they challenge a deeply ingrained script for many mid-career professionals: that good work is quiet, that ambition should be modest, and that serious people let others notice them rather than drawing attention to themselves. That script made sense in a certain era. It makes less sense in a labour market where hiring managers are overwhelmed, algorithms filter candidates before humans see them, and internal talent is often overlooked in favour of whoever is easiest to find and describe.
So what should professionals do with their fear of cringe?
First, recognise it. When you find yourself thinking, “They will roll their eyes,” pause and ask who “they” actually are. Often it is an abstract group of former colleagues who no longer play any real role in your career. Designing your entire professional life around their imagined reaction is rarely a wise investment.
Second, separate the truly unprofessional from the merely visible. If what you are about to do would undermine trust, mislead people, or violate your own values, do not do it. If it is simply new, ambitious, or more candid than you are used to, consider that this might be productive cringe that deserves a chance.
Third, practice in small ways. You do not have to start with a confessional post or a dramatic announcement. Post one short insight from your work. Ask one person for an introduction. Prepare one question for your next senior meeting and commit to asking it.
Over time, you will notice that the emotional intensity reduces. What once felt like a huge risk becomes part of how you operate. That is exactly what you want, because the ability to tolerate productive cringe is increasingly a core skill for building a sustainable senior career.
The choice is not between embarrassment and comfort. The real choice is between short term comfort and long term opportunity. Many of the clients I work with are far more capable, experienced, and valuable than their public footprint suggests. When they start to experiment with visibility and asking, their careers often move forward in ways that surprise them. Not because they have changed who they are, but because the market can finally see them.
If you recognise yourself in these patterns, consider this an invitation to climb your own version of Cringe Mountain. You do not need to plant a flag at the summit. You only need to take the next slightly uncomfortable step.
This article was originally published on The Job Hunting Podcast. Click here to see the episode.
Renata Bernarde is a career coach, podcast host, and former corporate executive. She works with professionals in their 40s, 50s, and 60s to help them secure new roles, change careers, and advance in leadership. Renata hosts The Job Hunting Podcast and teaches career planning at Monash University. Learn more at renatabernarde.com.